Two Temperatures

An attorney in North Carolina 
About a week ago
Published an article in the Wall Street Journal
About a subject we all know
 

He discusses the two sets of temperatures

That we hear every day

One is the actual thermometer reading

The other one brings wind chill into play

 

He refers to the thermometer reading 

By the name of “Actual”

“Apparent” he calls the wind chill set

It’s his preference, though less factual 

 

He questions the need for two temperatures 

And submits a case for only one

He says there is no need for “Actual”

Its usefulness is done

 

In true “enlightened” fashion he argues 

“Apparent” is the only one that’s real

He says the “Actual” temperature is less important 

Than the way it makes us feel

 

Even in lab experiments 

Where “Actual” temperature may be key

He recommends they use “Apparent”

Though he admits scientists disagree 

 

He knows his idea will not advance

Until the scientists take his side

But the laws of science are pesky things

To which scientists must abide

 

Water will boil at two hundred twelve 

And it will freeze at thirty-two

“Apparent” temp is interesting 

But only “Actual” temp will do

 

Inanimate objects don’t have feelings

They don’t much care about wind-chill

This lawyer may have a difficult case 

He probably won't close this deal

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