The Chicken and The Egg
About that there is no doubt
To keep his drinking under control
He limits the nights that he goes out
On a recent night out with his buds
Fred drank too much — and more
A companion drove him home
Managed to sneak him in the door
Fred stumbled silently to his bed
Slipped in without awakening his wife
Thus, avoiding a late-night lecture
About how he lives his life
He realized his drinking had done him in
When he woke up at the Pearly Gates
Fred said “I need to go back, St Peter,
So much life still awaits!”
St. Peter said I can send you back
But it will have to be as a chicken
Fred accepted this odious offer
Though he longed for a better picking.
His first day as a chicken
Another hen welcomed him to the flock
Said if you’ve never laid an egg before
The first time can be a shock
Fred says “I do feel pressure building
Feels like my stomach might explode.”
The other hen said just relax
We’ve all been down that road
Fred laid a couple of eggs
And settled comfortably in the yard
When suddenly someone grabbed him
And shook him really hard
He started to awaken
Things weren’t as they seemed
He wasn’t in a barnyard
It was all a drunken dream
His wife was shaking him awake
He wasn’t really dead!
She yelled “Fred, you are clucking like a chicken
And you’re pooping in the bed!”
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