Musings of a Rhymer

Stepped into a Men’s Room While at work one day Just coming from a meeting Where I’d had nothing much to say   Hanging out at a urinal Positioned on the wall I heard someone beside me In a nearby toilet stall   Glanced over that direction  My mind was on the news Below the partition I could see ankles, pants and shoes   Could hear someone in the stall Talking on their phone  Taking care of business While sitting on the throne   Didn’t pay much attention  Until I heard the toilet flush Heard the phone hit the floor He jumped up in a rush   Must have been a toilet clog  Because water soaked the floor I quickly zipped my pants up  And headed for the door   As the water pooled around him His shoes and pants soaking wet I heard him mutter to himself Words I can’t forget   He said them with a cadence That resembled rapping Strangely, what he said was “I hate it when that happens”   How many times does it take  To make this ...

It is time for Aunt Jemima To bid us all goodbye Her products were on many tables And they sure did gratify   Corn meal, syrup and pancake mix Were her claim to fame But I always wondered  Just what was her last name   Her syrup was a big seller And her pancakes close behind But her image on the package Brought unpleasant things to mind   You can’t have a racist breakfast That is something we all know So, Quaker Oats decided  Aunt Jemima has to go   She joins the ranks of others Frito Bandito comes to mind Jolly Green Giant, Eskimo Pies and Sambos All got in a bind   Reminded me, a few weeks back Land O Lakes felt compelled to utter They will no longer show an Indian On their packages of butter   And you know it isn’t “If” It’s really only “When” We all must say goodbye To a rice named “Uncle Ben”   Can’t say I will miss them much I never was a fan Goodbye Aunt Jemima Best of luck in the Promised Land

Just had my annual physical exam Everything was relatively fine Some old ailments are still with me And will be the rest of time   As I prepared to leave Doctor shook my hand Gave me a stack of papers  For me to read "on demand"   Later, I scanned the papers And was surprised to see A page titled “Aged Out” That applied to me   No need for a PSA Test For me, most vaccines have had their run No need for a Prostate Exam Not even just for fun   No need for colonoscopy  Testicular cancer off the table  STD is unlikely  Even if I'm able   Took me back to childhood And my age restrictions then So many things I couldn't do Until I got "Aged In"   Younger age restrictions Were promises of things to come "Aged Out", the strongest message That we are no longer young   So, "senior-Senior" citizens, be positive Some diseases we've outrun And some others move so slowly They won't catch us before we're done